This last week was an internet frenzy of thoughts and opinions. I the wake of John Paulks apology for harm through his involvement in the ExGay movement I saw the reality of what we call the Christian Faith.
The reality being, the Christian faith is like a person with Multiple Personality Disorder. One person (faith) with distinctive and unique personalities (diverse positions and beliefs) that seem to not only be different from each other, but in some cases wildly contradict one another. I’ve been told more times than I can count that I have lost the TRUTH and at times I’ve been called a false teacher. What TRUTH have I lost? In what way am I a false teacher. Frankly, the answers to those questions cannot be found in one place, or one denomination. Actually they would be false in some, and true in others.
Coming from a background of faith and homosexuality I’ve searched for over 30 years for truth. I’ve been involved in numerous religious affiliations. I was raised Catholic, then moved into the Assembly of God, Charismatic, Presbyterian, Southern Baptist, Non-Denominational and House Church movements. I’ve certainly been exposed to many of the different Christian personalities. I’ve seen some wonderful things and learned many very helpful truths. But I’ve also been wildly confused along my search.
I’ve been in quiet reflective prayer meetings, and also in those that were so loud and boisterous that I couldn’t hear myself think. Church worship has been handclapping, pew jumping celebration, and solemn liturgical practice with traditional hymns. Of course, many of have seen church spits and arguments over these matters. So much so that you’d think Jesus was specific about hymns vs. contemporary himself when addressing the Pharisees!
Are we “saved” at some point in our life when we’ve made a decision to come to Christ? If we make that decision, can we lose it through a willful choice? Or, does God choose us, pick us out of the crowd to be saved and in that we cannot do anything that might cause us to lose our eternal destiny? Even something as basic and fundamental as baptism has diverse understanding and practice. When I experienced a deeper walk in my own faith a man I worked with vehemently charged me to get baptized or my faith had no way of saving me even though I was baptized as an infant. Some denominations believe that one must be baptized in order to have “eternal life.” While others say it is done in infancy, and yet others sprinkle as young people or adults.
But, are the Ten Commandments are the truth to life? Do we have an obligation to live by their standards? Really? Thou shalt not murder, unless it’s in a war led by the United States. In war, we ignore that commandment because we believe it is for the better good. Some churches celebrate the veterans for their admirable efforts to protect the countries boundaries, while others feel deeply convicted that war is sinful and when someone dies in war, it is murder. Which commandments do we pick as truth, and under what circumstances? Unless we have a different interpretation and application of that commandment.
Do women have to remain silent from teaching men who are over the age of twelve? Or can women be a lead teaching pastor of a church? Can there be orchestras and bands in a church celebration or are all musical instruments banned from a gathering of the Christian hopeful? Some large churches pay good money for professional cellists each Sunday because there aren’t any in their congregations. Will I be in called our for living a sinful life if I partake of wine or a beer with supper? Or, can a relaxing glass of Chardonnay be shared at the monthly vestry meeting of the local Episcopal church?
All of these and so many more coexist within the culture of those who call themselves Christian. Some are frankly quite humorous. But for others they have caused divisions fraught with anger and insane congregational meetings that have never been forgotten. The bitterness of separation has at times caused people to leave their religion for life. Others have spent thousands of their hard earned dollars to start new church plants that involve their own personal preferences. I actually was a member of a church where the discussion of elders brought a newsworthy debacle that sent most of the senior staff members and 4500 church members into the streets without a church home after the vote to deny the elder led form of church leadership. What does the bible say about elders? Do all churches agree on this?
So, today, the gay issue is at the front line of church discussion. Much like so many other church personalities, there are certainly differing personas surrounding sexual orientation and actions. What is the final truth? What does God say about homosexuality and what isn’t found within the book called the Holy Bible?
There are lives at stake. Some have been found to take their own lives stemming from the shame and discouragement that has come from some church doctrines and judgment. Others have bullied, and beaten gay people due to some of the more extreme beliefs surrounding Christian thought on these matters.
Entire denominations have been formed to support gay people of faith while others have split and separated due to differing opinions on gay marriage. Mainline churches have spent countless hours in committee meetings studying the matter so that some form of statement can be made at the next year’s convocation meetings. In the end, largely, no decision has been made and the issue has been tabled for another year.
On line conversations have been supportive, loving, and kind, while others have been full of wrath and judgment. My message box has had some interesting statements.
These are a few that have come through:
I believe that John Paulk, like others who have made such decisions like John Smid and Michael Bussee, has cast aside his inheritance in Christ for a ‘bowl of soup’ (Heb 12:16-17)- a watery meal that doesn’t meet the famished hunger of the spiritual stomach. He may not have done this casually but the outcome is not positive. His decision represents a disregard for his inheritance in Christ and the blessings of his family and ministry. He is, in fact, suppressing that which he knows to be true (Rom 1:18) rather than realizing an actual truth and doing that wars against himself as much as anybody else.
Will this decision to be honest about his sexuality and finally share openly what has been true for him all of his life cause God to move far away from him? Does right doctrine teach that John cast aside his inheritance?
What I choose to do is walk out my faith the best I can in front of those who aren’t perfect. That would be me too. Thank God for his Grace and his mercies! (can I get an Amen? lol) Most homosexuals know what a born-again Christian stands for and how they feel about homosexuality. By loving them anyway, you are speaking volumes. You don’t have to endorse, support or otherwise give them carte blanche to do whatever they want. But love them. Like a child who steals or lies. You let them know what they did was wrong, but you love them anyway.
Are homosexuals by nature not capable of being a “born again Christian?” Is there an intrinsic separation between gay people and church inclusion or belief? Some church doctrines teach this to be true. Others have spent inordinate energy trying to share a message of grace and inclusion for gay folks.
The prince of the air is pushing for this agenda. He is getting ready to take control for his short time. It’s all prophecy. We need to show LOVE to one another so that people will know we are HIS.
Is Satan the architect of the plan? Is it his agenda to destroy culture and the Christian family through the gay community? Is it bible prophesy of destruction that we are seeing today as gay marriage is coming to be a standard in this country? What does your church pastor teach on this matter? Likely you will all have different answers on this. Which one is right? Is there one way of thinking that is more correct than another?
I don’t understand. If God says something even once….it’s enough. Homosexuality is sin. It is clear. We are all born sinners. It is no excuse.
Is it that simple? Is there a definitive answer to all of our questions of homosexuality and faith? Is the bible that clear? If the bible were that clear, then why would we have such diverse answers from bible scholars? Teachers? Pastors? Is there no “excuse” for someone living in a gay relationship? Is there no excuse for selfishness?
Actually, the main distinction that tends to get blurred in this biblical interpretation, is the homosexual person verses the homosexual act..(whether it applies to boy sex slaves of that culture..etc.). The ACT is still condemned no matter what the cultural context.
Are all acts covered under one statement? Are all heterosexual ACTS the same? Are they all sanctioned by scripture? I can find diverse personalities on this matter as well. Is there one, only one, doctrine on heterosexual relationship? Should wives be blindly submissive to their husbands, or is it permissible for them to be equals in partnership within a marriage? Churches have split over this one too! Denominations have formed their basic doctrines on their belief on the position of a woman in a home, in her dress and makeup routines.
You all know the old saying…..hate the sin….love the sinner…I am thankful there are people who have always loved me even when I was disobedient and rebellious. I have gay friends and to be honest, they are some of the sweetest people I know, possibly because they have been so mistreated that they truly understand the meaning and value of friendship. But that does not mean that I agree with the sexual sin in their lives. Again, we are all sinners. I’m not condoning the gluttony in my own life or my tendency to gossip…..and I will not agree with, nor condone, male with male or female with female sex. When you have to go to such great lengths to try and explain away what is CLEARLY spelled out in scripture as sin, then something is obviously wrong. It is not an act of love to blindly condone sin in any form. Quite the contrary.
Does a church or Christian have the position of condoning anything other people do? Condoning to me means, give permission to or allow. Well, there are churches that believe in shepherding their flock and others that live completely void of confronting or controlling other’s lives. Does the scripture teach that we should correct, condone, or control others? Or, does it teach that Christ is the head of the church and we are all accountable to Him. That’s another study with different outcomes. The personalities are varied when it comes to who is on control.
Good grief….are you really going there??? What do you do with Romans 1?…..men leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another. Read the rest of the chapter….it is so clear that it absolutely astounds me that anyone could be so blind as to argue about it! I’m not rejecting or condemning any person…..just speaking my heart on behavior that I truly believe will end in judgment.
Oh, yes, the one about what is considered natural vs. what is not. Natural to biology? Natural to culture? Natural to original nature? Yes, all of the above are taught in diverse denominational standards and ethics. Will all gay people end up in “judgment?” What kind of judgment do you mean?
I am so sad and disappointed you have given up on the Lord.
Really, is it true that a person who is living in a gay identity or relationship has given up on the Lord? Does an outward decision or action always mean the same thing for everyone? I’ve been involved with churches where this was clearly the teaching. Gossip and judgment was ascribed to anyone who’s life was deemed immoral or lacked ethical character according to our standards.
Then there are whole gay Christian communities who celebrate with amazing worship abandon. Who has given up on the Lord? The one who lacks trust in Him for those who are different, or the one who wrestles to find the life in God that is truly representative of the gospel that Jesus came to give us?
Is there one TRUTH? Is there one way to believe? Are all Christians alike and do they agree on such important matters as life, love, and relationship? It’s very easy for me to say a resounding NO!!!! WE do not agree. There isn’t one answer. Not one TRUTH, other than I believe that Jesus came, He lived, He died, and He rose again. He paid the price for my imperfect life so that I will live eternally with God in the place He has prepared for me.
What does it take for us to be as one? Certainly we disagree on some very important matters. We do not agree on what to do with homosexuality. We do not agree with whether a gay relationship is something that God can bless. We are a diverse community. Can we agree with that?
Do we have Multiple Personality Disorder? Well, yes, frankly, we do.
Think about it.
Re. Romans 1. People love to quote it starting with verse 24, “Therefore God gave them over…” or verse 26, “For this reason God gave them over…” In context, you have to start with verse 18 in which the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness…” and from that passage continue through to verse 24 which says, “THEREFORE…” Therefore what? Verse 23 says they had turned to idolatry and worshiping images of men, birds, animals, crawling creatures, therefore God gave them over to their sin. In my opinion, this chapter does not refer to gay relationships at all, but to pagan worship rituals.
I look at it as, since science is coming closer and closer to being able to say that sexual orientation is inborn, simple logic tells us that God will not condemn someone for the way they are created. Is everyone with an alternate sexual orientation given the gift of celibacy? Very unlikely. Should people with an alternate sexual orientation adhere to the same principles of chastity/monogamy as the scripture expects of hetero couples? In my opinion, yes. Gay marriage makes sense in the arena of faith, because it promotes, facilitates and encourages gay couples to adhere to a godly standard.
Okay, that’s my 2 cents worth. 🙂
Great article John. People’s emails reveal their ignorance about sexual orientation as well as many other things….like how to respect others at times.
Reading your article reminded me that possibly the church is as diverse as our LGBTTIQQTSSAGD community. We also have a variety of beliefs, behaviors and values.
John,
I am continually impressed by the insight you exhibit in your blog and the rational unemotional way in which you approach the subject at hand. I see an ever deepening understanding you have of the issues regarding the gay Christian truth. Thank you for helping me grow in my understanding and my confidence in my personal position in Christ as a gay man.
I had meant to respond to this earlier and just getting to it. Its true there are a diversity of views within the Church and thus we need to give each other grace. Actually, vigorous discussion (debate) on issues has been standard for the church from the beginning–from the the Church council meeting we read about in Acts about how to incorporate gentiles to the many church councils over the years to clarify doctrine and creed.
However, often these councils made a definitive decision about what the Church’s position as a whole would be. The reason we have so many conflicting voices now is really a Protestant problem. The Reformers thought Scripture could interpret itself. Obviously it doesn’t and the result was myriad splits over which interpretation was correct. It created the tremendous divisions in the Church. The Catholic Church has diversity within it, but its diversity within unity. Yes, the Catholic Church takes longer to make changes with doctrine at times, but I think that patience has been prudent. The Protestant disarray has led to lots of problems.
In any case, I think it highlights the importance of Christianity as a communal religion. In our individualistic culture and notions that we can be our own personal ecclesial voice, many Christians think they should be able to create their own doctrine apart from the Church. Even the early Reformers, like Calvin, denied that interpreting Scripture should ever be privatized. That is why he said no one interpreter can get it right so that we are forced to come together and rely on each other as a community and that only together can we draw a complete picture.
At some point we have to be willing to submit our individualism to what the communal Church has decided. Obviously that is harder with Protestantism. But I think even within Protestantism, many people have lost that sense of deference. One concrete example of how this can play out is one Mennonite church I heard about that had a gay man in its congregation and he asked them if they thought he could move in with his partner. The church prayed together about it to discern the Spirit’s voice. The point is the man was willing to seek communal input and the community as a whole came together to seek God’s will on the matter. It wasn’t an individualistic enterprise.
Obviously, this kind of willingness to submit oneself to the Church takes a lot of trust. And with abuses that occur in the Church that can be hard to do. But, we should not throw the baby out with the bath water.
John – this is certainly one of the most unique blog entries I have ever seen out there as it really cuts to the heart of this issue of Gay vs. God? or Gay vs. Evangelicalism? The examples of replies you’ve received to your previous announcement pretty much cover the whole spectrum I have been subjected to by “well-meaning” yet “ex-friend” believers as well.
There are many sins that are clear to all of us, no need to regurgitate them here. And we evangelicals have made a lifestyle of well-articulated expository on the “sinfulness of sin” and its deception, pervasiveness, and eternal consequences. There are books upon books of the subject complete with beautiful applications of scripture referencing the awful systemic nature of its power and even the beguiling of genuine believers.
What’s so hard to swallow is how these genuine believers so readily apply it to gay Christians as if we were utterly lost and willfully defiant to our Maker, and project judgement and disapproval so naturally to our decisions to finally acquiesce to OUR natural sexual calibration. As someone who deeply loves the Lord and continues to see the Holy Spirit clearly work in my life, how hurtful it is to see the (overall) Church apply these characterizations upon me and others. And we never win. No matter how often we present the CLEAR evidence that the Church has traditionally misused scripture (Romans 1 a classic example) to judge our eternal souls, the court has adjourned. Train’s left the station. Chicken’s laid her rotten eggs and is vacationing in Orlando’s Holy Land Experience this week.
Yesterday I was corresponding with a female pastor of a local (non-gay-affirming) DC church and I was asking her how she dealt with the hurt and distraction from those who are pugnacious toward women pastoral leaders. This is what she said:
“I don’t think it’s my battle to fight. People have and will make all kinds of assumptions about me that are inaccurate and unfair, but that’s happened to every person God has used…I really believe the best thing I can do is keep my head down and diligently live out the calling God has placed on my life. The best refutation to other interpretations will not be found in my arguments but in the fruit of the Spirit produced in my life.”
Well said! May I adopt the same Godly perpective as I continually work out my salvation with fear and trembling.